I eyed the mountainside next to us and my headlamp, coupled with moonlight, illuminated a field of antique kitchen appliances strewn about like they had fallen from the sky. An elderly man sat quietly on a stove, staring at us as we walked by.
"Simon... are those rocks over there?" Simon looked at me quizzically.
"Yes."
"Okay... good." I turned away from the creepy old figment of my imagination and headed up the mountain behind Simon.
We kept hiking. My knee was swollen, making it hard to bend, and every step was painful. Before we reached the rutted jeep road we had some technical down climbing that Simon had to help me with in my exhausted state. I used my poles as crutches because there were only SEVEN MILES LEFT in the Hardrock 100, a race I never dreamed I would actually get into when I applied for the lottery in 2015 with only two tickets and one 100 mile race under my belt. Only seven miles, but I was hobbling, and my sleep deprived mind couldn't bring itself to believe Simon when he said that we had enough time to make it to the rock before 6am. "You can't just be in the area at 6am, you have to be through the chute, kissing that rock by 6:00 on the dot!" I belligerently told him.
"Simon... are those rocks over there?" Simon looked at me quizzically.
"Yes."
"Okay... good." I turned away from the creepy old figment of my imagination and headed up the mountain behind Simon.
We kept hiking. My knee was swollen, making it hard to bend, and every step was painful. Before we reached the rutted jeep road we had some technical down climbing that Simon had to help me with in my exhausted state. I used my poles as crutches because there were only SEVEN MILES LEFT in the Hardrock 100, a race I never dreamed I would actually get into when I applied for the lottery in 2015 with only two tickets and one 100 mile race under my belt. Only seven miles, but I was hobbling, and my sleep deprived mind couldn't bring itself to believe Simon when he said that we had enough time to make it to the rock before 6am. "You can't just be in the area at 6am, you have to be through the chute, kissing that rock by 6:00 on the dot!" I belligerently told him.
Hardrock is a dream race for many ultrarunners. To qualify you have to complete a 100 mile race that the directors have deemed difficult enough to ensure your abilities. Then you enter your name into a lottery and keep your fingers crossed that you get in! This year seemed to see the least movement on the waiting list than ever before. Almost every person who gained entry saw training through to the end, myself included. When you get into Hardrock... you go. It doesn't matter if it's not the right time, or not a good year for you. You do everything you can to get to that starting line!
Training for this beast was no easy feat in itself. I needed to be sure I could get myself through 100.5 miles, 33,000 feet of elevation gain, and 33,000 feet of elevation loss, all between 7,680 feet and 14,048 feet (average 11,186 feet) within 48 hours-- and I only had four months to get there. My training started at sea level in California, but luckily in May I moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, which sits just below 7,000 feet.
Training for this beast was no easy feat in itself. I needed to be sure I could get myself through 100.5 miles, 33,000 feet of elevation gain, and 33,000 feet of elevation loss, all between 7,680 feet and 14,048 feet (average 11,186 feet) within 48 hours-- and I only had four months to get there. My training started at sea level in California, but luckily in May I moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, which sits just below 7,000 feet.
This year, of the 152 starters, only 16 were women. 16! I was the youngest, and definitely least experienced. I felt like a celebrity all weekend. Women on the trail watching or hiking would cheer me on, acknowledging that they had only seen 2 or 3 females in the race, and tell me, "good for you! You're an inspiration!" I loved that, I WANT to be an inspiration. I want more women to apply for this race, to know that they can do it if they put in the work-- that we don't all have to be fast-- and that it's SO worth it!
Almost immediately after checking in on Thursday I was approached by the Run Steep Get High workers asking me for an interview for their "Women of Hardrock" documentary. "Uhhh... me? Sure?" Not only did they do an interview with all the women (or most), but they were there with microphones and video cameras at aid stations, reporting to Twitter (which I found out later). Pretty cool stuff!
So, back to the race. I'll start from the beginning this time. Thursday after check-in was the pre-race briefing. Now, that's not usually anything to write about, but it was my first indication that Hardrock really is a FAMILY. Dale, the race director extraordinaire, had everyone who had raced before stand up and then sit down if they had 1 finish... then 2.... then 3... etc. The further he counted up, the CRAZIER everyone went clapping and cheering and whistling with respect and admiration for these long-time Hardrockers. It was AMAZING, gave me chills.
Mug shot
After the briefing, I met Simon, my pacer for Ouray to Grouse, and Cunningham to the finish. We had lunch and then parted ways so I could put up my tent, get things ready for the next day, and hopefully go to bed early!
At the campsite, Chris and Kari helped me with some course beta and we went over the map together. The course briefing the day before had actually made me a little more nervous than confident, with their talk of which spots you could die on if you took a wrong step.
A lot of people had to reassure me that I could do this race, haha. It did not help my confidence when several people asked if I had been on the course at all and I sheepishly had to say, "no..." and they gave me a look like, "oh boy." I had been so nervous all week, but that night before the start, I slept pretty well, only waking up about four times. I woke up when my alarm went off at 4:30 am, then my phone promptly died. Perfect timing! There were people waiting to swoop in and run the race if one of us didn't check in by 5:45, so I was thankful I made it!
Breakfast. Nervous peeing. Triple checking everything. Lining up in front of the rock. Making a pact with another woman that we would help the women get as close to a 100% finishing rate as we could. Aaaand, we were off! There were SO many people cheering for us at 6:00 am as we began the race. I barely even ran that part, but walked through it, almost in last place, trying not to cry. I was actually there! I made it to the starting line!! HARDROCK!
Breakfast. Nervous peeing. Triple checking everything. Lining up in front of the rock. Making a pact with another woman that we would help the women get as close to a 100% finishing rate as we could. Aaaand, we were off! There were SO many people cheering for us at 6:00 am as we began the race. I barely even ran that part, but walked through it, almost in last place, trying not to cry. I was actually there! I made it to the starting line!! HARDROCK!
Miles 1-11.5 (KT aid station)
The usual strategy. Start ridiculously, painfully slow. Check. Just two miles in we had a river crossing with the help of a fixed rope, and there was quite the crowd gathered! It was hard not to smile as people cheered, and I got a hug from Terry and Kristen, whom I wasn't expecting!
Photos by Terry G
This would be the first of many, MANY steam crossings
The first climb was beautiful! I took too many pictures, none of which did the scenery any justice. This certainly wasn't a "race" for me. I was determined to enjoy myself before the pain and suffering began-- and maybe even then too. "Make friends with pain and you'll never be alone."
I wasn't planning on stopping at the KT aid station, but I was having some woman problems that the ladies at the aid station helped me with and I was able to get out there in less than 10 minutes. For the rest of the race I wouldn't have issues related to that, but I would have to take a bit of time to take care of things. Ohhh being a woman... THANK YOU MEGA AWESOME VOLUNTEERS!
Mile 11.5-27.8 (KT to Telluride)
It was beginning to get HOT out, and I found myself alone on the trail to navigate. By the time I reached Island lake however, I had company and slowly made my way to the top of Grant Swamp Pass. I was surprised to see Chris and Kari at the top! Thank goodness, too, because I was a little sketched out by the descent and they helped me figure out a way down. So many runners had come through already that it was a bit bare at the top and super slippery. I got on my butt and slid down with one foot under me, and one out in front to keep me from going too fast. That descent took forEVER.
At Grant Swamp Pass looking down at Island Lake and the trail we came up. Photo by Chris Gerber
The less technical bottom part of the Grant Swamp Pass descent
Looking back at what we had just slid down
Pretty much right on goal! Chapman Gulch aid station at mile 18 was a quickie, though I did get some delicious food (read: breakfast burrito!) before heading up to Oscars Pass. Once again I found myself alone until I caught up to some on the long climb. My legs felt really strong, but I was having a hard time eating enough calories to keep up with the strenuous climbing. I was eating really well too! I can't even imagine what would have happened to me had I had nausea and vomiting the way I did at the Bear.
Run Steep tweeting a photo they took close to Telluride
Coming into Telluride I was greeted by Stephanie! So great to see a familiar face! She helped me get my drop bag so I could change shoes and socks and get out as quickly as possible. Headlamp, check. Gloves, check! I grabbed a chicken and bean burrito, which was not the greatest choice, but at least it was something. The weather was so hot, but I kept my light jacket on as some sun protectant. THANK YOU AMAZING VOLUNTEERS!
Got my burrito and headlamp, let's go to Kroger's Canteen!
Miles 27.8-43.9 (Telluride to Ouray)
The next section was ROUGH. Probably the most I struggled the entire race. I can only guess that I just didn't have enough juice after getting some actual running miles down into Telluride. I felt strong the first couple miles up to Virginius Pass, and then CRASH. 51 minute mile. Step, step, siiigghhhhhh, stop. Step, step, siiiggghhhh, stop. Over and over. I could see a line of people up ahead of me on the pass and they looked TINY! So far away! I couldn't wait to get to Kroger's! This Youtube video is one of my favorites about Hardrock, so knowing I was about to BE THERE was really exciting. I'm a geek.
The last pitch up to the aid station is steep, but you can see the volunteers' heads poking out of the notch, looking down, cheering for you. When I got up there the sun was setting and two guys shifted over on the padded rock so I could sit down for the first time in the race. Roch and the other volunteers knew what I wanted and needed before I did. They handed me a cup of Coke and a warm pirogi. I hung out a little longer, admiring the view, but when the guys next to me started to take off, I did too. This was the part of the course I was most worried about, and I wanted to be able to follow somebody. It was also starting to get dark.
Heading up to Kroger's with a guy I would leap frog with until I hurt my knee
Sunset at 13,000 feet... one of my favorite spots on the course
Xavier using the fixed rope to descend much earlier in the day. Photo by Salomon
Thank goodness I didn't have my poles, but did have my gloves. I had a death grip on that rope! It was easy at first, hopping down the rocks, but my hands did start to get a little tired by the time we hit snow. Roch yelled down to me "Come on Ellen! Go!" and I sat on my butt, still holding onto the rope, and slid down the snow. Epic. Now I know why they said they recommend pants for that...
I quickly lost sight of the guys I was following as I carefully navigated the snow and rocks. I was again crawling on some parts, and was pretty scared at one section-- slip and it's down the waterfall you go. Or if the snow breaks, it's into the water and down the waterfall you go. My gloves were SOAKED and caked with mud, but I was happy my hands were covered!
After we hit Governor Basin, it was the most runnable part of the course, down into Ouray. Such luxury to be able to run! It got darker and darker and I switched my headlamp on. I'm not going to lie. I am terrified running in the dark. I was super happy it was at least on a road and not dense forest singletrack, but I did see something that made me jump.
Terrifying
It was a bobcat. Gracefully stepping out onto the road, it stared at me. I yelled and made myself look bigger. Completely unphased, it started walking towards me. Again I yelled, but started walking backwards up the hill. It kept walking towards me. I picked up softball--sized rocks and threw them near the bobcat. It kept walking towards me. Not a SINGLE person was around. I kept hoping a runner behind me would show up, but nobody ever did! Finally after about 10 minutes of walking in the wrong direction, the cat snuck off into the woods. I waited a couple of minutes, and then started hauling (read: 11 minute miles hahaha) to Ouray. Whew. Please, please let me get to Ouray without being attacked by any animals!!
Miles 43.9-58.4 (Ouray to Grouse)
Ouray!!! I made it!! I wouldn't have to run alone the rest of the race now! After getting a little lost going into the AS with two others, I finally arrived. Stephanie had my bag ready and we headed to the bathroom to change, and I actually brushed my teeth. It had been so hot, but I knew it would probably be cold at 13,000 feet in the middle of the night, so the wet sports bra and soaking wet, muddy gloves had to go. Marc, Simon, Steph, Terry and Kristen made sure I had some food and everything I needed before grabbing my poles and heading out with Simon who would pace first. I felt great! It was actually a huge relief to have the sun be down after baking all day, and I was grateful the giant biting flies were gone. I had had headaches earlier in the day from the heat, but was feeling much better now.
....food baby. Getting the hair up!
Grilled cheese dipped in chicken noodle soup. 100 miler favorite!
And we were off! Simon lead the way and we began the longest climb of the race. I had some more trouble getting enough calories in, continuously bonking. We just chatted and hiked with only a few stops. At the Engineer aid station we had some soup, a restroom break, and then kept on trucking. The top of Engineer Pass was another favorite of mine. We stopped and turned around, and the STARS were just gorgeous! They were so bright with no real light pollution other than the trail of bobbing headlamps below us, making their way up the mountain. It was so neat.
Once we hit Enginner, it was just about a 5 mile descent into Grouse! The sun was already beginning to come up-- it had taken us almost all night to go 15 miles and climb 5,795 feet. Thaaaaank you thank you thank you volunteers!!!
Once we hit Enginner, it was just about a 5 mile descent into Grouse! The sun was already beginning to come up-- it had taken us almost all night to go 15 miles and climb 5,795 feet. Thaaaaank you thank you thank you volunteers!!!
Miles 58.4-71.9 (Grouse Gulch to Sherman)At Grouse, it was time to pick up Steph! I was sleepy since there hadn't been any caffeine left at Engineer, but not too bad. I DID fail to get my drop bag though, which meant I didn't change my shoes and socks (bad move since Simon and I got our feet wet quite a bit), didn't get my caffeinated treats, nor my second Garmin. Whoops. Although there was another pass to climb before heading up Handies Peak, in my mind we were just going straight up Handies, the highest point on the course at just over 14,000 feet! If I were to get nauseous and hurl at any point on the course, this would be the one, especially since it was a little later in the day than I expected! Steph went camera happy here because it was just so flippin' amazing!!! My legs continued to feel fine, but I struggled with bonking. "Steph! ohmygodwe'reatHARDROCK!" |  Steph is looking at me like, "why are you smiling, don't you know what's coming?" |
Grouse American Pass, 13,000 feet
 |  |
Are we thuuurrrr yet?!
At the top we were greeted with incredible 360 far-off views-- the luck of a clear day. A tourist on the summit took a picture of Steph and I (which seems to have missed the cut.. hmmm :) ) and we didn't waste much time getting to lower ground. I was having trouble keeping a good pace, especially on the technical down climbing, but even on the more runnable downhill. I was just plain pooped out. It was nice to get to Burrows Park aid station, but I didn't want to stick around too long. They offered me a chair, which I declined, but I DID take some pork pot stickers and Steph filled my handheld with Coke. I drank more soda during this race than I have since I was about 8 years old. Yuck.
Sherman didn't disappoint. I was told I HAD to go to the bathroom there, and sure enough, the vault toilet had been decorated with a table with a scented candle, table cloth, soaps... complete luxury! The whole aid station was perfection! Coming down the road into the aid station I realized that I had some gross, painful blisters going on. After I checked out the bathroom, I was forced down into a chair (for the second time all race), my shoes and socks were taken off, feet wiped clean, and Blister Man attended to my beautiful blisters while I sipped a Red Bull and was handed a big, fat breakfast burrito with eggs, cheese, bacon and potatoes! I felt like a Queen. A gross Queen, but one nonetheless. This was my longest aid station stop at 24 minutes.
Sherman didn't disappoint. I was told I HAD to go to the bathroom there, and sure enough, the vault toilet had been decorated with a table with a scented candle, table cloth, soaps... complete luxury! The whole aid station was perfection! Coming down the road into the aid station I realized that I had some gross, painful blisters going on. After I checked out the bathroom, I was forced down into a chair (for the second time all race), my shoes and socks were taken off, feet wiped clean, and Blister Man attended to my beautiful blisters while I sipped a Red Bull and was handed a big, fat breakfast burrito with eggs, cheese, bacon and potatoes! I felt like a Queen. A gross Queen, but one nonetheless. This was my longest aid station stop at 24 minutes.
The Royal Treatment
Steph and I left Sherman feeling really positive. The people there just lifted our spirits quite a bit! I was told I was running a smart race and had plenty of time, and when we left everyone started cheering! I definitely needed that to get to Pole Creek! THANK YOU VOLUNTEERS!!!
Miles 71.9-91.2 (Sherman to Cunningham)
Sherman to Pole Creek was never-ending. It was HOT-- I must have reapplied my sunblock five times during that stretch-- and it was just slow going. Thank goodness Steph made sure we kept a reasonable pace. We tried so hard to keep our feet dry, especially since I had all this new foot taping, but it was impossible.
 Steph crossing the pond |  Yes we wore the same shirt :) No it was not planned! |
While we were keeping on, I knew we were going super slow and I started to get a little worried. How were we not at Pole Creek yet? Why could I not get enough calories in?! Maybe because my mouth was like the Sahara desert. I had taken the giant breakfast burrito with me to eat, but every time I tried to take a few bites, I would aspirate it and start choking.
At least it's a pretty spot for some choking
There's a pass to climb before descending into Maggie after Pole Creek, and I would say this was the beginning of my complete destruction. I had been up for 36.5 hours, working hard, and the hallucinations were just beginning. Nothing too crazy, but I was seeing people all over the mountainside that ended up being rocks or flowers...not people. My IT band on my right leg was feeling really tight, which was weird as I never have IT band issues.
As we descended into Maggie, I was straight-up stressed out. My knee was starting to hurt more than a little, I knew we had lost some time, and I knew there were still 15 MILES to go. Simon had said if I could get to Cunningham by midnight, that should give us ample time to get to the finish. That made me want to get there at 10:00 pm, which we had been on schedule for, but we were now falling behind. Steph filled my handheld with Coke so I could get SOMEthing into me, and I tried to eat some sweet potatoes and a slice of chocolate banana bread that an aid station volunteer had made, which actually completely hit the spot! 8 minutes later we headed out towards Cunningham, the LAST AID STATION, and boy am I glad I didn't know what was ahead...
As we descended into Maggie, I was straight-up stressed out. My knee was starting to hurt more than a little, I knew we had lost some time, and I knew there were still 15 MILES to go. Simon had said if I could get to Cunningham by midnight, that should give us ample time to get to the finish. That made me want to get there at 10:00 pm, which we had been on schedule for, but we were now falling behind. Steph filled my handheld with Coke so I could get SOMEthing into me, and I tried to eat some sweet potatoes and a slice of chocolate banana bread that an aid station volunteer had made, which actually completely hit the spot! 8 minutes later we headed out towards Cunningham, the LAST AID STATION, and boy am I glad I didn't know what was ahead...
The sun was setting as we climbed to the top of Buffalo Boy Ridge. We both took a picture, but there is NO way to get the real picture without being there. It was AWE-inspiring. Here I was, 38 hours into this race and I was still being swept off my feet by the beauty of the course. Oh wait-- that was actually the WIND. OH MY GOD THE WIND. It had been so hot earlier, that I had ditched my long sleeved shirt at an aid station, and now I only had a t-shirt and my rain jacket, and I was FREEZING. The wind took my breath away, and threatened my footing on some of the narrow trail. At the first lull in the wind, Steph and I got out our headlamps to get ready for night two.
Big fan of sunsets on top of ridges!
On Green Mountain I was seeing all sorts of weird things, but also hearing things. I kept hearing runners right behind us and would turn around to see nothing. Green Mountain is supposedly beautiful, but my light was at my feet as I tried to go as fast as I could. The trail was STEEP. NOT knee-friendly. I tried to use the poles as we slid down the hill, but it was too steep. Steph kept having to correct my form as I was too sleepy to notice I was leaning over the trail towards the cliffs. That horrendous downhill took SO long, and my knee got worse and worse. At one point, I dreamily looked at some lights across the way and asked Steph, "What are those?"
"Those are headlamps. That's the last climb."
Silence.
"WHAT?!"
"It's not as bad as it looks!!"
"Ohhhh my god!"
How had I managed to forget the last climb??
When we got to Cunningham FINALLY at 11:02 pm, I was all prepared to run through the knee pain. I am typically a "fast" finisher. I was totally set to destroy those last nine miles and get this thing DONE. However, I quickly discovered that my knee was too swollen to bend enough to go fast. Or even to run at all.
"Those are headlamps. That's the last climb."
Silence.
"WHAT?!"
"It's not as bad as it looks!!"
"Ohhhh my god!"
How had I managed to forget the last climb??
When we got to Cunningham FINALLY at 11:02 pm, I was all prepared to run through the knee pain. I am typically a "fast" finisher. I was totally set to destroy those last nine miles and get this thing DONE. However, I quickly discovered that my knee was too swollen to bend enough to go fast. Or even to run at all.
Miles 91.2 to 100.5 (Cunningham to SILVERTON!)
I had an AWESOME little army around me, grabbing me food and handing me my drop bag where I grabbed an extra warm layer. After the success of the chocolate banana bread, I decided to try some of the pumpkin pie that had been at every aid station but that I had skipped. I did NOT want to eat, but after seeing that climb we were going to do, I knew I needed to. I felt like I had been eating for 41 hours straight and didn't want to eat EVER AGAIN-- which for me is saying something. I explained this to my crew while chomping down on the pie. Thank you so much volunteers!!!!
I told Simon I was ready to get going. We left at 11:10 pm, needing to get to the rock by 6:00 am. Everyone kept telling me I had plenty of time, but I didn't believe that they knew how much my knee hurt and how slowly I would have to go. I definitely was not able to think clearly at that point!
Simon and I went up, up, up to Little Giant, slowly but surely. After an hour we stopped so I could get out a snack, and kept on moving while I ate. It sure is hard to eat while you're huffing and puffing up a 2500 foot climb to 13,000 feet 91 miles into a run!
The whole way down Green Mountain and up Little Giant I had some serious déjà vu. Even writing about it now, I SWEAR I had been there before, climbing down that horrid pass and up that steep mountain! I continued to have epic hallucinations, but was able to recognize now that the people I was seeing, and children I was hearing were probably not really there.
When we finally started to go DOWN is when I really went completely nuts. Hot mess. The climb down to the jeep road was sketch in the dark with my bum knee, and Simon had to help me navigate quite a bit. I was excited to get to the jeep road, but when we got there, it was SUPER rutted out with all these softball-sized rocks... not quite what I was hoping for. My knee got more and more swollen and I couldn't lift my foot very high, so I would continually hit a rock and it would force my knee to bend, making me groan. I was SUPER pathetic and whiny. Poor Simon lol I just kept groaning, and he tried so hard to talk to me, but all I could do was concentrate on continuing forward. After a few hours the pain was starting to make me a little nauseous.
When I look back at the thought processes that were going on in my head, I just die laughing. For some reason-- maybe because I had trouble seeing the course markers? Or because I kept having déjà vu about the road and thought we were going in circles? For whatever reason, in my sleep-deprived, physically exhausted state, I was convinced that Simon was just running us around, following no particular trail, trying to get 9 miles by his watch so that we'd have 100 and I could be done! haha! I remember stopping at one point and saying something like, "Simon! Seriously! What are we doing? WHERE is the bridge? WHY are we not there yet?" He was so patient with me! I'm pretty sure I fell asleep standing up once, because I came to to Simon grabbing my arm and saying "Look at me. You're saying weird things that don't make sense."
I got even more stressed out when we were passed by person after person after person after person... all running like I wanted so badly to be doing. I wanted to follow them. Wait for me! They would disappear into the night so quickly, which also contributed to my thinking we were off course. When we had to cross yet another stream, Simon had to help me across as I was so unstable and he knew if I fell in it would be bad news bears. He gave me his rain jacket for another layer as it was getting super chilly, and crossing the icy stream didn't help. We kept on trucking. When we got into Silverton, I didn't even believe what was happening. All week I had started tearing up thinking about approaching that rock and finishing HARDROCK within the allotted 48 hours, but there I was, limping towards it using my poles as crutches, thinking I had somehow done something wrong and didn't REALLY finish. It didn't feel real! Limping into the chute with only 58 minutes to spare was not exactly what I had in mind for finishing Hardrock. But- I did it. I FINISHED HARDROCK! It had taken us almost six hours to do that last nine miles. Wow.
I told Simon I was ready to get going. We left at 11:10 pm, needing to get to the rock by 6:00 am. Everyone kept telling me I had plenty of time, but I didn't believe that they knew how much my knee hurt and how slowly I would have to go. I definitely was not able to think clearly at that point!
Simon and I went up, up, up to Little Giant, slowly but surely. After an hour we stopped so I could get out a snack, and kept on moving while I ate. It sure is hard to eat while you're huffing and puffing up a 2500 foot climb to 13,000 feet 91 miles into a run!
The whole way down Green Mountain and up Little Giant I had some serious déjà vu. Even writing about it now, I SWEAR I had been there before, climbing down that horrid pass and up that steep mountain! I continued to have epic hallucinations, but was able to recognize now that the people I was seeing, and children I was hearing were probably not really there.
When we finally started to go DOWN is when I really went completely nuts. Hot mess. The climb down to the jeep road was sketch in the dark with my bum knee, and Simon had to help me navigate quite a bit. I was excited to get to the jeep road, but when we got there, it was SUPER rutted out with all these softball-sized rocks... not quite what I was hoping for. My knee got more and more swollen and I couldn't lift my foot very high, so I would continually hit a rock and it would force my knee to bend, making me groan. I was SUPER pathetic and whiny. Poor Simon lol I just kept groaning, and he tried so hard to talk to me, but all I could do was concentrate on continuing forward. After a few hours the pain was starting to make me a little nauseous.
When I look back at the thought processes that were going on in my head, I just die laughing. For some reason-- maybe because I had trouble seeing the course markers? Or because I kept having déjà vu about the road and thought we were going in circles? For whatever reason, in my sleep-deprived, physically exhausted state, I was convinced that Simon was just running us around, following no particular trail, trying to get 9 miles by his watch so that we'd have 100 and I could be done! haha! I remember stopping at one point and saying something like, "Simon! Seriously! What are we doing? WHERE is the bridge? WHY are we not there yet?" He was so patient with me! I'm pretty sure I fell asleep standing up once, because I came to to Simon grabbing my arm and saying "Look at me. You're saying weird things that don't make sense."
I got even more stressed out when we were passed by person after person after person after person... all running like I wanted so badly to be doing. I wanted to follow them. Wait for me! They would disappear into the night so quickly, which also contributed to my thinking we were off course. When we had to cross yet another stream, Simon had to help me across as I was so unstable and he knew if I fell in it would be bad news bears. He gave me his rain jacket for another layer as it was getting super chilly, and crossing the icy stream didn't help. We kept on trucking. When we got into Silverton, I didn't even believe what was happening. All week I had started tearing up thinking about approaching that rock and finishing HARDROCK within the allotted 48 hours, but there I was, limping towards it using my poles as crutches, thinking I had somehow done something wrong and didn't REALLY finish. It didn't feel real! Limping into the chute with only 58 minutes to spare was not exactly what I had in mind for finishing Hardrock. But- I did it. I FINISHED HARDROCK! It had taken us almost six hours to do that last nine miles. Wow.
It was more than good!
Before I could think about getting a photo with my crew in front of the rock, I was whisked away to the medical area where 3 medics hovered over my knee poking and prodding it, trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. I also had cut my ankle bone on some scree and then proceeded to kick it about 25 times throughout the race, so I had that cleaned and bandaged. Once I was laying on that cot, I couldn't get up! To be honest, I didn't need to :) Marc brought me hot chocolate and french toast, Terry got me things from my car, I was given a blanket... The crew kept crewing, even though the run was done :) When I was finally ready to try and get cleaned up, Kristen helped me up the stairs to the shower.
My heroes
I had planned to sleep before the 10:00 am awards ceremony, but I only got about 20 minutes in my car. The awards ceremony was SO COOL and yet another reason why I am totally in love with this Hardrock family. Not only was every finisher acknowledged, but the two runners who completed the course but not under 48 hours received a standing ovation for their efforts- because let's face it, finishing that thing is awesome, no matter how long it takes! Everyone went CRAZY for Blake and Kirk with their 20 and 22 Hardrock finishes. I was definitely the only person who walked up to the front with a super limp. So embarrassing! I'll tell you what, I am STOKED AS HECK to have finished this race, but I am also thirsty for a better time. I will definitely be applying for a second try in hopes of not being a Golden Hour finisher. But for my first one- it's all good :)
I think the MAIN lesson I learned from my Hardrock journey-- from getting picked in the lottery to kissing that rock- is that there is never a right time for anything. If there was ever a horrible year for me to get into the biggest race of my life, it was this year. But I knew this could be my only shot for possibly YEARS and that I had to try. No, I didn't get as much training in as I wanted, but I worked hard and accomplished something I wasn't sure I could! There is never a right time to do ANYthing. If you're waiting for the perfect time to switch jobs, buy a house, dump that terrible boy/girlfriend... don't wait. Just do it. Life is short. You'll never know what you can accomplish unless you try.
RSS Feed
